Silly Humor by Melody

Pink Polyester Passion

Introducing a series of pictures entitled OUTFITS I SHOULDN'T WEAR.  I love clothes, but there are some fabrics, patterns, and obnoxious colors that shouldn't come near my body.  So, of course, I have to model all these horrible combinations.  (Look at my shoes in this one, they're purple.)

SpongeBob is the Easter Bunny

Look at his rabbit ears.  SpongeBob's gettin' all dressed up for Easter.  (And according to the label, he's carrying around sour candy in his belly.)

Station Square Statue

I like to rub the nose of this statue on my way to work in the morning.  I think he gives me good luck.  (He resides outside of a tobacco store in Station Square.)

Small Napoleon Imitators

I emailed my sister with the address of my website and included this threat, "If you don't go check out my website, I will send small men dressed like Napoleon to beat you."  I thought I was SO clever.  Unfortunately, I typed my website address all wrong.  So my sister responded with, "Please call off the Napoleon imitators.  They're hurting me.  Ouch.  I can't get to your website.  Ouch.  Ouch.  Ouch."

Bad Pepperoni

I've always been suspicious of reduced fat foods.  How do they get TASTE without fat?  But I caved in to the call of Turkey Pepperoni last weekend.  I bought it thinking, "Turkey is good.  Turkey Bacon is good.  I'll give Turkey Pepperoni a shot."  Well, the Turkey Pepperoni SHOULD be shot.  It smells like dog food.  It looks like the plastic food Matel puts in their toy kitchens, and it's as dry as sand paper.  WARNING:  DON'T EAT TURKEY PEPPERONI. 

St. Patty's Day Pen

I think the hand is gonna win in this fight, but the pen is going to go down punching.

Dancing with Ellen

Over the weekend, I dreamed that Ellen DeGeneres invited ME onto her talk show.  I told her that I love her crazy dances, so she started dancing right away.  I thought, "What the heck?", and danced a tango with her.  Then, when the music was over, she asked me if I had anything to say to America.  So I said, with an enormous amount of humility, "Go to www.melodyplatz.typepad.com!  It will make you laugh."

What do you think this dream means?  Will Ellen's producer be calling me?  Did I eat too many Pringles before bedtime?  Am I over-ambitious, even when I'm sleeping?  I leave you to decide.

My Three Noses

Pencil Sharpeners shaped like noses.  Need I say more?

Mickey Learns Poker

These mickey cards aren't much longer than my pinky finger.  Yeah, they look harmless, but imagine a four year old playing Hold'em Poker with Ben Affleck on ESPN.  See, cartoon cards CAN corrupt the innocent.

Harry Potter

Read Harry Potter.  Stop arguing.  Just read it.  Then go here to obsess about Harry Potter.