I played the lottery. I'm going to win. The jackpot is 340 million. That's dollars. Not cheese snacks. Although I'd probably try to win 340 million cheese snacks, if anyone was giving them away. But right now, I want the money.
When I win, I'm going to buy a university and force them to make me their most honored English professor. Then I will sit around all day telling nineteen-year-olds that Dave Barry is more talented than Shakespeare. It would be fun to listen to all the other professors defend Shakespeare while I sit on my butt eating cheese snacks. Personally, I think they are equally talented, but with 340 million dollars in my pocket, I will be allowed to say whatever the heck I want.
What would you do with 340 million dollars? Or 340 million cheese snacks?
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