I watch politics. This is a nervous tick I have. It goes way back to when I was eight-years-old and was watching Phil Donahue with my mother. Other kids were...they were doing...well, I don't know what other kids were doing because I was watching politics.
I spent four days during the week of August 25th from 8 p.m. to 11:30 p.m watching every single speech for the Democratic National Convention on PBS. I will do the same for the week of September 1st when the Republicans get their chance.
After watching a lifetime of people making political promises, I believe I am qualified to make the following observations about the DNCC of 2008.
First: Most politicians give really boring speeches. I was able to read a multitude of blogs, create a newsletter, and spackle my living room while 85% of the Democrats spoke.
Second: Getting 75,000 people together in a stadium and making them listen to boring speeches is really GUTSY. I'm surprised no one started throwing a beach ball around the audience while the fourth Congressperson in a row said, "I deeply respect John McCain, but he votes with George Bush 90% of the time."
Third: Sometimes, a politician ends up giving a good speech and you wonder if you are hallucinating. Maybe you are losing your hearing? Maybe you are watching a political movie by accident and Michael Douglas is giving a rousing, well-rehearsed speech written by Aaron Sorkin? When a speaker actually had something to say during the week of August 25th, my heart would start pounding from shock. Then I would have to get the Silly Boyfriend's attention and I'd tell him, "This speech isn't making me want to bang my head against the walls. Can you believe it?'
Finally: Most animals and all the humans I know are NOT watching the conventions. Some people don't even know a convention is happening until I say, as a lame attempt at starting a conversation, "So did you watch day three of the DNC?"
"DNC?" they ask, "Isn't that a new superhero TV show?"
So you see, I can say whatever I want about the political process. This makes me a little afraid and quite powerful.
Remember: Vote Walter Mondale 2008! Go Mondale.
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