Silly Humor by Melody

Pets Gone Wild

Everyday, at least once, I hear a lot of tweeting and chirping from my two parakeets.

I look over and...

You guessed it.  I see Hot Birdy Lovin' going on in broad daylight.

Here are the mug shots of my two horn balls:

And they look so innocent, don't they?

Christmas Ditty:

Celebration of Baked Goods

For goodness sake, just bring me more cake.

It is the Christmas season,and there is no better reason

to eat pastries dripping with icing of red.

Oh and cookies and muffins and sinfully soft bread.

I shout yes to dumplings and to pie with a buttery flake.

I love every confection an oven can possibly make.

I only gorge myself like this one time during the year,

so say goodbye and leave me with my table full of chewy cheer.

Under the Weather

What under the weather could mean besides meaning you are sick in a non-life-threatening way:

1.  On a camping trip your tent blows away and you have to sleep under the weather in a rainstorm.

2.  You dig a hole in the ground, climb into said hole and then put a tarp over your head while a snowstorm blows in.

3.  Your boat runs out of gas during a hurricane, leaving you heaving and bobbing for at least three days.

4.  While running an extremely silly marathon in Death Valley, you pass out and bake under the sun.

5.  A sandstorm comes along unexpectedly and buries you.

Definition of Silly

At Dictionary.com the definition of silly is: weak-minded or lacking good sense; stupid or foolish: a silly writer.

A silly writer is weak-minded?  Yikes.

Another part of the definition says: stunned; dazed: He knocked me silly.

To use in a sentence of my own creation: The fact that someone might think I'm weak-minded because I'm a writer has knocked me silly.

Almost Funny

Here is a list of things I think are almost funny enough for a whole post but didn't quite make it:

1.  Making videos at 11:30 p.m. may not be a good idea.  However, at 11:30 p.m., while you are making them, they seem like the BEST IDEA EVER.

2.  I think it's funny that I maintain a travel blog and I haven't been anywhere new in two months.  Why?  Because it is cold outside and I am a wuss.

3.  A two ounce parakeet can be more stubborn and strong willed than a thirty-four-year-old woman.  I have spent the last three days trying to train my parakeet not to land on the floor where I can step on him.  He has other ideas about what he will and will not do and he seems to be winning.

4.  There are two brothers on Youtube who have a group of fans called Nerdfighters.  The best part?  I desperately want to be a Nerdfighter too.  These people read books and stuff.

Computer Destruction - A Reenactment

Many people have expressed sympathy for me in regards to my computer dying.  

But the very next thing everyone says after they say sorry is, "How did you kill your computer?"

Being all for transparency in comedy, I decided to make a video.

Here is one computer killing reenactment, just for you:

If you would like to see more of my videos, you can visit my movie channel at http://www.youtube.com/user/melodychef

Melody's Being Boyish

This is my boyfriend's hat. I've been wearing it this winter season. Normally I wear incognito-type earmuffs, but I left them in my friend's car.  She keeps meaning to give them back, but...well...she hasn't. I could buy a new hat or earmuffs.  The problem is, the Silly Boyfriend's hat is really warm and it's free.

So if you are a stylish person or a member of the fashion stasi, don't judge me too harshly.  Someday soon I will return to the world of girl hats.  Someday.  Soon.

Is this a Dream?

I had one of those dream within a dream within a dream experiences. Araggh!

In my dream I was back at my parents house and I woke up, but I was only half awake. Because I was sleepy, I fought with everyone which was the pits. Then to get away from my grumpiness I went to church.

At church I could hardly talk or keep my eyes open, so my friends started muttering that I might be insane. I had to keep running away, sluggishly, from everyone I usually talk to.

When all THAT humiliation was over, I woke up back at my parents' house again. Was the church a dream? My mom and dad hovered over me with worried expressions as I sank into a coma.

Finally, I woke up for real. I'm safe in Pittsburgh with no more than the usual hint of wackiness in my personality.

Now the question is...will I wake up again? Yikes! I hate being paranoid.

Dumb Luck is Dead

I'm reading a book called Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell.  It is not a funny book.  But something about the subject struck me funny.  So I will recount my thoughts to you here.

Gladwell writes about the science of success.  How did Bill Gates become a computer tycoon? How do hockey players achieve professional team status?

Gladwell says that anyone who makes it has had at least ten thousand hours of practice.  

My question: How does this explain Paris Hilton?  Did she spend 10,000 hours in front of the mirror as a child trying to appear shallow and silly?

What about Stephenie Meyer, whose vampire story came to her in a dream and she had a publisher within six months of sending out her first query letter?

Gladwell's science is solid.  I think most people have to practice their fingers off to be an expert pianist.  But I'm still holding my hopes out for shear stupid chance to smile on me.

I know I can be at least as silly as Paris, even if I never practice.

Melody Movie

I dropped my laptop. This dropping killed my hard drive. Killing my hard drive made me sad. Then I went out and bought a brand spanking new computer with iMovie software. I am no longer sad. Making movies is totally awesome. Here is my very first one: